You Don't Tell Me Anything
by FavoriteSeptember
Summary: Ziva is acting weird after taking her shower, Tony wants to know why. S7 included. One-Shot. Tiva. Sad, but comfort and romance.


**Author's Note: **I promised I wouldn't write anything sad, especially since we only want good things from Tiva!, but still. I thought of this while I was in the shower. Yes, I know, way personal. Haha. It's sad, but sweet. I hope you enjoy. R&R. (:

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><p>Ziva stepped out of the shower, droplets of water springing off of her. She looked toward the mirror, her back slightly showing into her view. She frowned. Ziva shivered before throwing a towel around her and drying off. <em>I'm tired of looking at myself. <em>Her facial expressions said everything that was wrong with her, and her life. Her scars are prominent through her olive skin, it makes her sad to know those will never go away. They'll forever remain a part of her life that can't be taken back and the nightmares that will forever go along with them.

If she could go back to do it all over, she would. She would have never left the comfort of Washington or the love from her friends. She realized in those months who had never turned their back on her, but she hadn't seen it until then. God gave her a second chance to reunite a family that should have happened in the almost seven years she'd been there. Ziva took the chance to see what life she could have and it made her happy to know she'd made the right one.

She made her way to the walk-in closet in the bedroom her and Tony now shared together. They'd been a couple for the last two months and so far, so good. Ziva thought they'd fight constantly, but outside the walls of work, they're just like every normal couple, or what one would hope for.

Ziva pulled out pajama pants with a light, long sleeve shirt. She had started to dress in her normal fashion for bed when she felt arms suddenly go around her, shunning her to stop in the process of what she was doing.

"Tony, I do not feel... quite in the mood tonight." She responded, her voice slightly breaking. "Some other night, yes?"

She hoped he wouldn't catch on to her off mood, but she wasn't usually this dull at nights, especially after she'd been at work all day and only wanted rest.

"That wasn't why I stopped you. It isn't always about that, you know." Tony noticed the way that smirk crossed her lips as if nothing were wrong. "Okay, but not tonight. I promise," he let her finish putting on her attire before continuing with his conversation. "I just wanted to know what's wrong?"

"Nothing is wrong, I am fine." Ziva put a fake smile on her lips, passing herself off in another direction. "I am just tired."

Tony didn't buy it and he definitely wasn't letting it go. He had promised himself from the first time Ziva said yes to dinner, that if something is wrong, he'd fix it for her. Or try to fix it, in other words. Tony hated how she closed herself down and wouldn't talk to him about the little things that meant so much. He wanted her to be open with him, he wanted her to share every secret she could with him, because he loved her enough that he'd never tell, never share, and always cherish because she opened up just for him.

"No, tell me why you're acting so different tonight, Ziva."

"Why must I?"

"Because I want you to share things with me, it's the rightful thing to do, I share things with you."

Ziva glanced away from his gaze. It's intense and it scared her to know that he was this serious. She hadn't seen him this serious since he'd killed Michael, and she definitely didn't want to think or talk about that.

"It is different."

"No, it's not!" Tony shook his head, "I've asked you before why you use so much body wash in the shower, but you never answered me like you're hiding it! You won't tell me why you always act strange after you take a shower or while you're dressing." He took her by the hand, making her look at him. "You won't tell my anything. That upsets me more than anything! The only thing worse was that, you telling me honestly didn't love me. Is that why you won't tell me anything?"

Ziva felt her eyes tear up, but she didn't let it show. "No, I do love you, it's hard."

"No, it shouldn't be. That's not an excuse."

She stood up from the bed, turned around with her back toward him, and lifted her shirt. "It isn't like you ever see this side of me. I see this side of me every time I get out of the shower and look in the mirror! It's not easy for me to see myself like this." Her tears scattered down her face in uneven patterns. "My skin was once beautiful, but now it's not. I let myself get in this situation. I shouldn't have went, but I did. It's my mistake, my loss. I cannot imagine how anyone can let their life become like I have mine."

Tony went to speak, but she turned around to stop him.

"As for the body wash, I use so much because I think the more I use, the more that the nasty, grit feel of his hands will come off of my body. I'm always for loss at words, because after I dry myself off, I can still feel it like he's still doing it." She caught her breath. "You have no idea what torture they did to me, what those men were capable of, or what they knew. You will never know because you are a man, they let you go easy. If I could take everything I did back, I would, but I can't." Ziva steadied herself against the nightstand before starting again. "I'm a broken woman who cannot be fixed. I cannot understand, not in my lifetime, why you'd still want me after everything I see seen, went through, and how ugly I am."

"Ziva," he never seen her this broken. Ever. He didn't want to see it again. "You're beautiful in so many ways that you can't see. You'll never understand how much I love you and I really wish you could." Tony wrapped her in his arms and traced the scars on her back. "These are battle wounds that you earned for being brave. You shouldn't have to worry about what people think, because you already have people who love you. These aren't ugly. You aren't ugly. You're are very beautiful, attractive woman. Every time you walk through a door, all the men stop to stare. You can't put yourself down for all of this. Had I known these answers, I wouldn't have asked. Now it's off your chest. Doesn't it make you feel better at all?"

She wasn't sure. Tony's hands and strength was the only thing holding her up and together at the moment, but that was alright, because she took every word he said in. Those words meant enough to her to help make her forget of the awful, dirty things Saleem did to her. It was almost enough to make her forget every bad moment in her life.

"I.. Tony, I." Ziva closed her eyes to picture the words she meant to say. "I am happy you feel this way, I truly am, but it will take some time for me to realize it all myself."

"Hey. We have all the time in the world." Tony kissed her softly, "don't forget that."

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><p><strong>Author's Note: <strong>Okay. Not the best I've wrote, but not the worst either. (: I'll write something happy maybe before Tuesday, or maybe the day after. I haven't decided yet, school will all depend on that. Thanks to this three day weekend, you all have received this. :D Kiss, kiss! Hug, hug! R&R, my lovely readers.


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